Trump gives MAGA marching orders on Epstein scandal

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The news, in brief …

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• Elmo’s X account shares “disgusting” messages after hack

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• Hundreds of Alligator Alcatraz detainees have no criminal history

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• Palestinian man detained at Houston airport for 9 days

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• DeGeneres backs O’Donnell in Trump feud

  Daytime television hosts have to stick together. Read more.

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Talking Point USA

Donald Trump always wriggles out of it.

If there’s been any constant in the last decade in politics, it’s the way that Teflon Don manages to get away clean. Two impeachments rolled off his back. 34 felony convictions disappeared in a puff of smoke. Sexual assault cases, an embarrassing election loss, a failed insurrection and a series of lone gunmen couldn’t stop the inevitable.

We became savvy viewers of Trump’s show, tuning in weekly to see Trump invariably get cornered like Bo and Luke Duke. We’d watch through our fingers as the Democrats’ various Sheriff Roscos preemptively celebrated after trapping Trump on a dead end street.

Every episode of Dukes of Hazzard and every Trump gotcha ends the same way. A big, orange bastard comes tearassing past the bumbling opposition — we’ve never seen Trump go airborne but we imagine the residents of Somerset, Kentucky would line the streets to catch a glimpse of it — and the audience is reminded there’s always a way out if you’re willing to do a little bit more than the law will allow.

At least, that was the stock story. A stupid streak deserves an equally stupid end and it looks like Trump’s luck is running out in the most ridiculous way imaginable. The Hazzard County kin who hooted and hollered him into the White House are turning on Trump. The lack of transparency around the nearly six-years-dead sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein has the MAGA faithful rooting for Boss Hogg.

The conspiratorial center of Trump’s movement wants to see the people who participated in Epstein’s sex trafficking ring punished. Though the real-life sheriffs of America’s most Hazzardish counties all voted for Trump, many of those same Roscos wouldn’t mind seeing him behind bars. The cross-talk from formerly steadfast supporters like Joe Rogan, Laura Loomer and Alex Jones has Trump fearing cancellation. He’s gone nuclear and asked for a pass at the script.

Trump called up lanyard merchant Charlie Kirk and told him how to pitch the Epstein mess to his listeners. Kirk, completely dependent on hosting terrible and lucrative parties for America’s least-liked college sophomores, had to obey. He needs the A-listers of Trumpworld to give keynote speeches or his whole hustle falls apart. So, he gamefully parroted the president.

“Honestly, I’m done talking about Epstein for the time being,”Kirk shared on his podcast. on Monday “I’m going to trust my friends in the administration, I’m going to trust my friends in the government to do what needs to be done, solve it, ball’s in their hands.”

Whether that’s enough to calm Trump voters who’ve spent the 2020s fantasizing about stringing Tom Hanks(‘s clone), every elected Democrat and Bill Gates up like Mussolini remains to be seen. This might be the episode where the General T slams into the Jersey barrier at full speed.

If he doesn’t, and we’re left gawping again as the president pulls the handbrake and fishtails out of harms way, at least it’s Waylon Jennings calling us a bunch of suckers.

What do you think? Will Trump make it out of this one? Will the lack of resolution on the Epstein case lead to January 6 repeating as farce? Should we stop watching the all-syndication TV channels? Click the speech bubble to sound off in the comments.

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