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Late last month, utility companies in at least seven states experienced cyberattacks from “malicious cyber actors,” according to the FBI, that remotely accessed water management systems, causing loss of pressure and flooding. “Pressure loss in water systems could potentially allow untreated ground water to seep into pipes,” the agency warned in a recent alert. At least 30 municipal water facilities were hit in Minnesota alone. These cyberattacks were likely launched by Iranian agents as part of the ongoing war with that nation that Donald Trump started alongside Israel, and could become part of a new normal as the conflict drags on. 

Now, in a memo released Wednesday, the White House is attempting to fight back against cybercrime by encouraging private companies to go after transnational criminal organizations “by incorporating the ingenuity of the private sector.” Details are vague, but a factsheet hints at combatting “transnational cybercrime, fraud and other predatory schemes against American citizens” such as ransomware attacks, phishing schemes and sextortion.

U.S. hacking laws prohibit individuals and companies from launching cyberattacks. “The U.S. government’s position to date, through multiple administrations, has been that the private sector can defend against incoming cyberattacks, but not launch or operate them,” according to TechCrunch.

This program is still in the very early stages, with more guidance coming in the next few months, but there’s no way this could possibly backfire, right? I’m kidding: Even under normal circumstances, giving private companies this much power is likely to incentivize inventing enemies to fight or drive unnecessary spending. I mean, that’s the military-industrial complex in a nutshell.

You could say this program comes straight out of the Age of Sail, in which governments issued letters of marque and reprisal, licenses that authorized privateers to essentially practice legalized piracy, with private vessels attacking enemies of the state. Think of American shipping companies plundering British ships, which was common practice once upon a time. These letters haven’t been issued since the Civil War, but the parallel is obvious and creates shades of gray that could present major problems. Just ask Capt. William Kidd, who was hired by the British government to hunt pirates, but was later executed for being one.

Most likely, this cyberattack program will just be another way for tech-bros like Peter Thiel of Palantir to siphon more money from the government while doing next to nothing to actually protect Americans or improve their quality of life. This is especially concerning in light of recent news that the Department of Homeland Security spied on left-leaning Minnesotans who criticized ICE. Think these tools and tactics won’t be used domestically? That would certainly buck the trend of U.S. tech companies that regularly surveil Americans, be it Flock Safety, whose ubiquitous cameras are being used to stalk people getting abortions, or Clearview AI, the facial recognition company that hunts migrants.

A better solution might be to invest more in improved cybersecurity and critical infrastructure, like the power grids that risk being hacked. As they say, the best offense is a good defense. A digital bill of rights would be a major part of that by boosting privacy and protecting the level of data that corporations can siphon up about ordinary people. An even simpler solution, come to think of it, would be not picking fights with other countries that are likely to fight back. Alas, that’s probably too obvious a strategy for our tech-illiterate president and not enough of a slush fund for Silicon Valley. Maybe someday we’ll have leaders who understand the internet and the importance of avoiding perverse incentives. Until then, it’s a good idea to keep your system software updated and use a strong password.—Troy Farah

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Ever tried to make dough in your regular mixer?

The results aren’t pretty: Clumpy texture. Stodgy bread. Overheated motors.

So, we took the same dough-making technology that professional bakers have used for decades and packed it into a countertop machine.

Introducing Ooni Halo Core.

Its secret? Spiral mixing.

In a regular mixer, a single hook chases your dough around the bowl — like someone trying to knead with one hand tied behind their back.

But in a spiral mixer, three synchronised attachments fold and stretch dough as one, replicating the precise and powerful dual-kneading action of a skilled baker’s hands.

The result: Stronger dough, softer loaves and a higher rise.

See it in action